The 4 Seasons Of Marriage (Paperback)Gary Chapman
Spring, summer, winter, fall. Marriages are perpetually in a state of transition, continually moving from one season to another—perhaps not annually, as in nature, but just as certainly and consistently. Sometimes we find ourselves in winter—discouraged, detached, and dissatisfied; other times, we experience springtime with its openness, hope, and anticipation. On other occasions, we bask in the warmth of summer—comfortable, relaxed, enjoying life. And then comes fall with its uncertainty, negligence, and apprehension. The cycle repeats itself many times throughout the life of a marriage, just as the seasons repeat themselves in nature.
The seasons of marriage come and go. Each one holds the potential for emotional health and happiness, and each one has its challenges. The purpose of this book is to describe these recurring seasons of marriage, help you and your spouse identify which season your marriage is in, and show you how to enhance your marriage in all four seasons.
Size140 x 211 mm
Number of Pages240 pp
PublisherTyndale House Publishers
Chapter OneThe Nature of
In the early days of my career, I was an avid student of anthropology.
During my undergraduate and graduate studies in that
discipline, I explored ethnographies compiled through the years
by various anthropologists. One conclusive finding of these studies
was that marriage between a man and a woman is the central,
social building block in everyhuman society, without exception.
It is also true that monogamous, lifelong marriage is the universal
Of course, some people will deviate from this practice, as in
polygamy (which is still found in a few nonliterate cultures)
and serial monogamy (which has become common practice in
some Western cultures), but these exceptions do not erase the
cultural norm of lifetime monogamy from the human psyche.
In fact, in spite of the widespread acceptance of divorce in the
United States over the past forty years, a recent poll of nevermarried
singles ages twenty to thirty indicates that eighty-seven
percent planned to marry only once.1 Many of these people have
seen their parents divorce and that is not what they want for
The social institution of marriage is first and foremost a cove-
nant relationship in which a man and a woman pledge themselves
to each other for a lifetime partnership. In the biblical account of
creation, God’s expressed desire is that the two “will become one
flesh.”2 At the heart of marriage, therefore, is the idea of unity. It
is the opposite of aloneness. Again from the creation account in
Genesis, it is abundantly clear that God did not intend for men
and women to live alone.